


Honey, If You Stay

by prouvaireafterdark



Series: Michael Sanders AU [5]
Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Abusive Jesse Manes, Alex Manes Deserves Nice Things, Alex Manes Needs a Hug, Alternate Universe - High School, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jesse Manes' A+ Parenting, M/M, Michael Guerin Loves Alex Manes, Michael Sanders AU, POV Michael Guerin, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:08:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24924418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prouvaireafterdark/pseuds/prouvaireafterdark
Summary: Are you awake?Please tell me you’re awake.A heavy feeling sinks into Michael’s gut as he reads the words—something doesn’t feel right. He quickly types out his reply.Yeah, are you okay?Alex’s reply comes not from his phone, but in the form of a soft knock on his bedroom window.***After a rough night with his dad, Alex sneaks into Michael's bedroom.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Series: Michael Sanders AU [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1742722
Comments: 48
Kudos: 287





	Honey, If You Stay

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy the next installment of my Michael Sanders AU, set sometime between Caught in the Moment and A Father Like That 💜

Michael has only just put his bedtime reading on irrigation systems on the floor beside his bed and turned in for the night when his phone buzzes loudly on his bedside table. He reaches for it immediately, unplugging the charger so he can pull it closer to his face. He has a single text from Alex, and another comes through as he’s opening it.

_Are you awake?_

_Please tell me you’re awake._

A heavy feeling sinks into Michael’s gut as he reads the words—something doesn’t feel right. He quickly types out his reply.

_Yeah, are you okay?_

Alex’s reply comes not from his phone, but in the form of a soft knock on his bedroom window. Michael looks over to see Alex standing outside, drenched by the rain that’s been pouring down all night.

Michael leaps from his bed and rushes to the window. He opens it as far as it’ll go and Alex climbs inside. He reaches for Michael immediately, burying his face in Michael’s neck and breathing deep. Michael wraps his arms around him tight without a care for how wet he gets, anxiety buzzing under his skin.

“What happened?” Michael asks him.

Alex just shakes his head and holds on tighter. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Dread fills him even more, but as Alex shivers in his arms, Michael decides to shove that down and focus on warming him up—he knows what happens when humans stand in the rain too long and he doesn’t want Alex to get sick.

“You’re freezing, come on,” Michael says, tugging Alex toward his bedroom door.

Alex lets Michael lead him out of his bedroom and into the bathroom down the hall. He leans listlessly against the sink while Michael turns the shower on, holding his hand under the spray until he feels it reach a good temperature.

When he turns around, he sees Alex watching him with a complicated expression on his face. Now that they’re in the light, Michael can see he’s not wearing any eyeliner like he usually is. He isn’t sure what to make of that, but he doesn’t have time to dwell on it—Alex is dripping water all over the floor and he still needs to grab him something dry to change into. He just hopes he has a clean pair of underwear for him—he’s been putting off laundry day a little too long.

“Water should be warm enough now,” Michael says as he heads toward the door. “You can leave your wet clothes in the sink, I’ll wash them with mine tomorrow.”

Alex reaches for Michael’s hand as he’s about to leave. He catches him around the wrist, his fingers digging into his skin a little desperately. Michael turns around to look at him and finds Alex’s eyes glassy and wet, his breathing shallow.

Michael backtracks until he’s standing right in front of him again. Alex’s breathing starts to calm when Michael touches him, moving his free hand up to cradle Alex’s cheek delicately in his palm, so Michael leans in to kiss him, soft and sweet, offering him the only comfort he can think to give.

It works, Alex’s grip on his wrist loosening in relief.

“I’ll be right back, okay?” Michael tells him when he pulls away. “I’m just gonna get some pajamas and a towel for you.”

Alex visibly swallows before he nods.

Michael presses another gentle kiss to his cheek before he leaves the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He sneaks back into his room and grabs his last clean pair of boxers and a t-shirt from his dresser before slipping into the hall to get a couple of fresh towels from the linen closet. When he reenters the bathroom, he finds Alex already in the shower. His clothes are piled in the sink, and his muddy shoes are on the floor near the cabinet.

Michael throws a towel on the floor and uses his foot to haphazardly wipe up the mess before he sets the clothes down on the closed toilet seat cover. He’s just hanging the towel up on the rack by the shower when the curtain pulls back and Michael looks over to see Alex peeking his head out, the color in his cheeks a healthy pink.

“You gonna join me?” Alex asks, and there’s a subtle, flirtatious twist to his lips that doesn’t quite meet his eyes. It makes Michael hesitate, but if Alex wants him close right now, he can’t think of a single reason he should deny him.

“Yeah,” Michael answers, reaching back to strip off his shirt. He lets his bottoms pool at his feet before he steps into the shower.

As soon as he’s inside, Alex crowds him against the shower wall. The tile is cool against his back, a dizzying contrast to the heat of Alex’s hands on his hips and the hot water beating down around them. He feels Alex’s lips on his then, and his skin is soft as always, but he’s anything but gentle as he covers Michael’s mouth with harsh, biting kisses.

Michael usually loves it when Alex kisses him like this, loves to feel how much Alex wants him, how desperate he is to have him, but _this_ … this feels different. It feels a little like Alex is trying to disappear inside his mouth, and it sours the pleasure coiling in Michael’s belly.

 _Alex didn’t stand in the rain for a fun midnight hook up_ , he reminds himself. _Something’s wrong_.

“Alex,” Michael gasps, tilting his head to get the space to speak, but Alex doesn’t stop kissing him. The grip on his hips tightens as he moves down Michael’s jaw to his throat. He sinks his teeth into the join of Michael’s neck and shoulder, and under normal circumstances Michael would find that brain-meltingly sexy, but right now it just makesthe pit of his stomach drop. “Alex, _stop_ , look at me.”

Alex does, his chest heaving as he wrenches himself away like he’s been burned.

“Shit, I’m—I’m sorry,”he gasps, eyes wide and devastated as he tries to put some distance between them, but Michael doesn’t let him go far, reaching for his waist to pull him back in.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Michael assures him, rubbing his palms against the smooth skin of Alex’s sides. “I’m not mad, it’s just—you’re upset.”

Alex looks away, swallowing hard.

Michael raises his right hand from Alex’s waist to tip his chin up until he can look him in the eye again. “What’s going on?” he asks, voice pitched low and soothing despite how unsettled he feels.

They stare at each other for a long minute, the hot water raining down upon them, before Alex’s eyes fill with tears and his face crumbles. Michael catches him as he pitches forward, his right hand immediately going to the back of Alex’s head while his left loops around his waist to hold Alex securely against him.

“Shh, I’m here, it’s okay,” he whispers in Alex’s ear, rocking him softly as he sobs into his neck. Alex’s hands slide uselessly against Michael’s skin as he tries to grab onto him, his chest shuddering with each breath he takes. Every gasp, every sob, every whimper is amplified in his ears by the acoustics of the shower, and Michael’s heart fucking shatters for him. He’s never seen Alex cry like this before. “You’re gonna be okay, baby, I promise,” he says thickly, his own eyes burning with tears. “Whatever it is, I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”

Alex doesn’t cry for more than a few minutes, but it’s long enough for the shitty water heater they’ve got to run out of hot water. Michael turns the shower off quickly in those precious few seconds before it turns from tepid to ice cold and reaches for the towel on the rack by the shower.

Michael towels Alex off first, starting with his hair and then moving down his body. Alex leans into him a little as he does it, allowing Michael the freedom to touch him however he needs to to get him dry. The intimacy of it strikes him—Alex is usually relentlessly self-sufficient, and Michael hasn’t been naked with _anyone_ without some form of sex being involved since he was old enough to shower by himself. It feels important somehow, like they’ve reached a milestone, or a turning point maybe. Michael’s heart aches at how much Alex is trusting him right now.

“Go get dressed, okay?” Michael tells him once he’s finished. “I’ll be out in a second.”

“Okay,” Alex croaks and steps out of the shower.

Michael gets himself dried off as quick as he can and pulls on the clothes he’d been wearing before.

When they’re both fully clothed, they tip-toe into Michael’s bedroom. Alex climbs into Michael’s bed without a word, his back facing him. Michael slides right up against his back, and pulls the covers over them both. He nuzzles his face into the back of Alex’s neck and secures his arm tightly around his waist.

They’re both quiet for a long time, the only sounds to be heard their breathing and the soft patter of rain against the roof. Michael wants to ask him what happened again, but he doesn’t. Whatever it is, it can wait until morning. There’s only one thing Michael needs Alex to know before he loses him to sleep for the night.

“I love you,” Michael whispers, pressing a kiss to the spot behind Alex’s ear. “Whatever’s going on, I love you, and I’m here for you. I’m right here.”

Alex doesn’t respond, but Michael can hear his throat click as he swallows, so he doesn’t think he’s fallen asleep. A moment later, Alex reaches down to entwine their fingers together before bringing their joined hands to rest against his chest, right over his heart.

Michael thinks that’s the end of it, so he drops another kiss to the back of his head and closes his eyes. He’s just on the edge of sleep when he finally hears Alex speak.

“He _hates_ me,” Alex says, so soft Michael barely hears it, but it sends ice shooting through his veins all the same.

Michael doesn’t need to ask who he means. When Alex doesn’t say anything else, he asks, “Did he hit you?”

Michael’s suspected for a while that Alex’s dad beats him, but Alex always shrugs him off whenever he brings it up. He’s never actually seen any marks on him to prove it either, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Michael wasn’t in the foster system for long, but it was long enough for him to learn that there’s plenty of ways to hurt people without leaving any evidence.

Alex huffs a bitter laugh. “He didn’t need to.”

Michael pulls him back against his chest a little more firmly. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, not knowing what else he could possibly say to make Alex’s pain disappear.

Alex lifts their joined hands toward his mouth so he can kiss Michael’s fingers and keeps them there. The position is a little awkward for Michael, but he’d rather cut off his own arm than move an inch.

“I just don’t _understand_ ,” Alex continues a moment later, his voice sad and frustrated. “Flint can fuck around and get a pat on the back for pulling C’s in every class, but I get _one_ _fucking_ _A-_ and he’s tearing apart my room and making a bonfire out of my posters? Why is nothing I do ever good enough? Why doesn’t—“ Alex cuts himself off abruptly, swallowing the emotion thick in his throat. “Why doesn’t he love me?”

An aching fury unlike anything Michael has ever known rises inside him; he wants to scream, wants to _cry_ at the unjustness of _Alex_ —the beautiful, wonderful boy who has shown him nothing but love and kindness as long as he’s known him—having a father capable of such cruelty that he would make him feel so unloved. Michael’s vision blurs with tears, but it’s not _his_ pain that matters right now, so he bites his bottom lip harshly between his teeth to keep from crying out until he regains his composure enough to answer.

“Because he’s a _psychopath_ who doesn’t even deserve to _know you_ , Alex,” Michael says.

Alex sighs, but otherwise doesn’t react.

“How often does he do stuff like this?” Michael asks, fearing the answer.

“Often enough,” Alex says, and he’s vague enough that Michael gets the feeling this happens far more often than Alex has ever let on.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Michael asks, trying hard not to let it come out like an accusation. He’s relieved when Alex doesn’t take it as one.

“I don’t like thinking about him when I’m with you,” Alex answers.

“What about Liz and Maria? Do they know?”

“A little,” Alex says. “They walk on eggshells around me whenever I say anything, which is _really_ fucking annoying, so I don’t tell them much anymore.”

“So you just deal with it all on your own?” Michael asks, rubbing his thumb against the back of Alex’s hand.

“Yeah,” Alex shrugs. “Always have, I guess. When it gets bad, I just go to the shed behind my house to be alone.”

“But not tonight,” Michael comments.

“No,” he says softly. “Not tonight.”

Michael lets that hang in the air between them for a moment before he asks, “What changed?”

“I, um…” he says, voice wavering. He sniffles when he pauses. “I just needed you, I guess.”

Michael’s chest clenches at Alex’s admission, and he presses a soft kiss to the back of Alex’s neck. He’s about to tell Alex how mutual that need is, but Alex starts to speak again.

“And I didn’t…” he says, his voice soft and hesitant like there’s something he needs to vocalize, but isn’t quite sure how.

“Didn’t what?” Michael prods gently.

“I didn’t feel safe there, with him still in the house,” Alex admits after a brief, pregnant pause and, _fuck,_ Michael wants to cry again.

“You’re safe _here_ ,” Michael assures him, a desperate edge to his voice as he draws his arm tighter around him. “You’re safe with me. You’ll _always_ be safe with me, Alex.”

Alex is quiet for a few seconds before Michael hears him sniffle. “I know,” he whispers. “But I’m not always here, am I?”

“You could be,” Michael insists, untangling his fingers from Alex’s to move his hand to his shoulder in an attempt to make him turn around. When he doesn’t budge, Michael slides his right thigh over Alex’s hips and lifts himself over him so he’s lying in the narrow space between Alex and the wall. Alex won’t quite meet his eyes, so he tips his chin up with a gentle touch. “I’m serious, Alex. Don’t go home. Stay here with me.”

It’s dark in his room, but Michael thinks he can make out a wistful expression on Alex’s face as he sighs. Michael waits for his answer with bated breath.

“I can’t do that,” he says finally, shaking his head. Michael tries to fight off the hurt his answer brings, but it’s easier said than done.

“Why not?” Michael asks.

“Because if he finds out where I am—and he _will_ —he’ll hurt _you_ , and I can’t—that’s not an option, no matter how bad things get,” Alex explains. “I can’t risk you like that, Michael. I won’t.”

“And, what, you think I can risk you? You just told me you don’t feel safe in your own home, Alex,” Michael says, his frustration growing. “Why won’t you let me protect you?”

“Because _I love you_ ,” Alex says, his voice breaking over the words, “and if he gets his hands on you, I will _never_ forgive myself.”

They stare at each other for a long time, neither one of them willing to back down. Michael understands where Alex is coming from, he _does_ , but the thought of him spending even a single minute somewhere he doesn’t feel safe makes Michael feel like he can’t breathe.

“What if we made a compromise?” Michael asks at last.

“What kind of compromise?” Alex asks warily.

“Forget the shed—you come _here_ if it gets bad,” Michael proposes. “If anyone asks, you’re at Liz’s or Maria’s. You already do that when we’re together anyway, so it’s not like it’s unbelievable.”

Alex doesn’t look entirely convinced.

“I don’t know if—“ Alex starts, but the desperation curdling Michael’s stomach has him interrupting.

“ _Please_ , Alex,” Michael begs him. “Let me have this. I _need_ to know you have an exit plan if you need one. I _need_ you to feel safe.”

Alex studies his face as best he can in the dark for a long, terrifying moment.

“Okay,” Alex says at last and Michael feels such a strong rush of relief that he starts to tear up again.

“Thank you,” he says, and a few tears leak from his eyes as he captures Alex’s lips in a kiss. “Thank you.”

Instead of answering with words, Alex rakes his fingers through Michael’s curls and drags him in for another kiss, this one sweet and tender and everything Michael needs right now. It settles him more than he can say, makes him feel safe and warm and loved. He hopes his kisses make Alex feel the same way.

“What about your dad though?” Alex asks when he pulls away, distractedly twirling Michael’s hair between his fingers.

“What about him?” Michael asks.

“Will he be okay with me spending the night?”

“Yeah,” he answers with marginally more confidence than he really feels before he adds, “And, I mean, it’s not like you haven’t spent the night before.”

“Sneaking into your room every once in a while to fool around and then leaving before dawn is _not_ the same thing as a sleepover and you know it, Michael Sanders,” Alex tells him, and he can’t quite see it but he’s sure Alex just rolled his eyes at him.

Michael sighs. He has a point.

“I’ll talk to him to make sure, okay?” Michael promises, reaching out to lay his hand on the side of Alex’s neck.

“Okay,” Alex relents.

Michael snuggles closer and leans in to kiss Alex’s forehead. Alex yawns sleepily as he pulls away and Michael laughs softly under his breath.

“Okay, time for bed,” Michael says, and Alex doesn’t fight him on it.

It takes a little maneuvering, but eventually Michael winds up on his back with Alex’s head resting on his chest and his fingers pressing into Michael’s bare skin where they’ve slid up under his shirt.

“Thank you,” Alex murmurs against his collarbone.

“For what?” Michael asks, dropping a kiss onto the top of Alex’s head.

“For being here,” he answers, like it’s a kindness he never expected, and Michael can’t help but kiss him again.

“I’ll always be here for you, Alex,” Michael tells him, feeling the truth of those words as he whispers them into Alex’s hair. “All you need to do is stay.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!
> 
> Find me on tumblr [@prouvaireafterdark!](https://prouvaireafterdark.tumblr.com/)


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